![]() ![]() He depended on his intelligence for his identity, and clung to it in opposition to his father's abusive dogmatism - yet he hoped to win his father's love with that same intelligence. ![]() Without the religious experiences and insights he thinks would take for Gabriel to appreciate him, John looks to his intelligence to put him on equal par with the much-vaunted whites Gabriel so despised. The "moment" in question is when John realizes that his intelligence sets him apart from his peers. This was not, in John, a faith subject to death or alteration it was his identity, and part, therefore, of that wickedness for which his father beat him and to which he clung in order to withstand his father. ![]() That moment gave him, from that time on, if not a weapon at least a shield he apprehended totally, without belief or understanding, that he had a power in himself that other people lacked that he could use this to save himself, to raise himself and that, perhaps, with this power he might one day win that love which he so longed for. ![]()
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